Ponography Kills

Conquering Pornography
Overcoming the Addiction?
Denny: The story for this book started in 1998 when I was at a men’s retreat speaking on being intimate with God and family. I brought up the subject of pornography for only a moment as part of my outline.
The room suddenly became very still. It was then that we extended the retreat and broke into small groups.
Many, many of the men admitted to the addiction and to the effects of pornography. At that point I realized that something needs to be made available that can help address this problem. That was the genesis of this book.
How do you define pornography?
Denny: Pornography is all sexually explicit materials that are intended to arouse a person. Whether classified as soft or hard pornography, the goal is the same: to use the private body to entice another in order to make money. It’s all about profit and exploitation.
Why are you so concerned about pornography addiction?
Denny: I see the destruction it has done to marriages and to men. The perversion itself actually eats away at a man’s soul, at a man’s character, and it degrades women. They are objectified; they are exploited. And it changes how men view healthy relationships. The moral decline in our society is overpoweringly significant and the effect on the children – all of which I feel are critical to why we all need to be concerned about the subject.
Does pornography addiction harm individuals and relationships? How?
Denny: Definitely, yes. It creates a wedge between a husband and a wife. It causes unrealistic expectations in their relationship and their sexuality, as well as creating a fantasy world without a relationship.
All of these things are evidence of the harm inflicted upon individuals involved with or impacted by an addiction to pornography. Secular society is stating statistics of how people have been shaped and reshaped by this addiction, especially the children.
How does pornography distort healthy sexuality?
Denny: Pornography also degrades and objectifies the men from a different perspective. Pornography sets unrealistic expectations on what is normal sexuality, whether it be size, or acts, or the process. It judges men and women on their body and their looks, not on who they are as a valued and valuable individual. We should regard a man or woman as a real person with a real name, dreams, and a whole life – not just by his or her sexuality. It’s not a relationship based on trust, honesty, and respect. It is lust-based.
Why do you think this book will make a difference?
Denny: The book will definitely make a difference with individuals, with groups, and with conferences.
Men need to know that they are not alone. The book gives very practical and sensible solutions with questions that the reader can answer to learn more about himself. It also provides scripture verses to back up the teaching. I think that this book will make a huge difference because it is directly targeted at a specific audience.
What is the core solution you are proposing?
Denny: Your relationship with God is a critical base on how you are going to overcome this addiction. Your healthy relationship in your marriage and with people outside your marriage will be changed. You need to stop the negative behaviour, and you need to get help.
You cannot overcome this on your own.
How many years have you been counselling on these issues?
Denny: I have been a licensed counsellor for 34 years, especially working with men on sexual issues for the past 20 years.
What should the church do to help these people?
Denny: The church needs to get involved! It should not hide from this issue. Step up to the plate and start recovery groups. Support men’s groups and groups for married couples impacted by pornography. Don’t judge people who are involved. Bring solutions out into the open and help people deal with the problem.